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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

There was a man who had worked his whole life in a pickle factory.

One day he came home and told his wife that it was time to retire because he had been fired from his job.

If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance." Esther replied,"Morris that helicopter is fifty dollars -- and fifty dollars is fifty dollars".

Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once.

You are truly a great lover, Roger.' The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.

" The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.

That's an automatic fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on.

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